I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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