Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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