2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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