get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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