We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize