Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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