Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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