Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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