yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
