ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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