And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
