i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
