I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
