I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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