i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
