Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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