im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
