do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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