I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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