found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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