i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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