i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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