i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Terrible idea I love it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
