When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
