***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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