Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
