You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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