I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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