I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
