you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
