everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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