I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize