I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
