why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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