Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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