She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
