You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
