When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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