i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
