im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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