i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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