remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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