Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
