just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
