Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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