Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
