ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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