just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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