I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize