my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
