I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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