Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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