you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize