She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
